So today I’m going to tell you about my “dating debrief.”
The debrief is when you review the interaction you’ve just completed.
When your night is less than ideal, hopefully you use your debrief to ask productive questions, like:
- “What Went Right?”
- “How Would I Like it to Go?”
- “How am I Going to Change it?”
A lot of guys, however, start with the question I try to avoid, and their friends help by asking it first when they return from the field of battle:
“What happened? What went wrong?”
And so you go over your misfortunes for the night.
Sometimes the girls you talk to are b*tchy.
They don’t like your type and they are cruel or callous in the way they impart that information.
“Um…. you’re old enough to be my grandfather!”
( A young blonde said that to my best friend, who was easily 20 years older than her. I immediately whispered, “Tell her, ‘Yeah? Wait till you see my cane!’”)
Some nights, the other guys are–if not more attractive–heartless and competitive. They are going after the same women as you are.
And they are willing to break any rules–of etiquette, social engagement or even the law–to get them, and if necessary to take them from you.
Sometimes you are unlucky.
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The Bizarre Truth Behind Why Some Guys Are More “Unlucky” Than Others (And How Knowing This Can Turn Your Luck Around With Women)…
Sometimes, you’re not unlucky at all, but the culture of the women you are approaching–where they are used to aggressive, inconsiderate men who will hit on them mercilessly despite an uncomfortable or offended response–means that your gentle approach is all but ignored.
I’ve discovered–and I’m sure you have too–that some people (and maybe it’s a lot of people for you; it really depends on who you have around you) are often unlucky.
Things happen TO them.
I hear your protest already: “I’m here to learn how to pull ass, David, this is helping me how?”
Well, given the base rates and the cross-section of the population that reads my words, there’s almost a 40% chance that you are one of those “unlucky” people.
Maybe not unlucky in everything, but you’re up against a lot and it’s not really your fault.
Perhaps in addition to being bald–that’s too much testosterone and not your fault–and short, which is also the result of your genetic roll of the dice… you’re also kind of overweight.
High fructose corn syrup and calorie filled product packages are only some of the ways in which manufacturers can at least exacerbate a weight problem, if not cause it outright.
The average large bag of potato chips, for example, has MORE calories than an adult’s recommended consumption for one day. Ditto a two-liter bottle of soda, and both are easy to finish in one sitting.
Obesity is a disease, with links to genetic markers and metabolism levels–things beyond your control.
If you are part of a minority that suffers from unfair hiring biases, then a good job won’t only be hard to come by. When you get one, you might be paid less.
Add to that starting in a low-income area and a low-income family, and you probably get very little financial help or education starting out. Forget about inheritance, “seed money” or investment.
It’s very unlikely, too, given that beginning, that you had a lot of encouragement from those closest to you when you wanted to go off the beaten path in terms of career or lifestyle, or think outside the box in terms of income generation.
Crossing a religious or racial line in your choice of possible mate, too, may have been frowned upon or discouraged.
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So Here’s The REAL Question You Should Be Asking Instead Of “What Went Wrong?”…
The real question that rises out of the “What went wrong?” question is:
“Who’s to blame?” or actually, “How is this not my fault?”
Sometimes you are not at the causal end of the problems and obstacles in your romantic life–and in your life overall.
Sometimes, you’re the victim, and you suffer disadvantages that are clearly not your fault.
Well, I’m here to tell you two things.
First, victims suffer.
We could talk about that in-depth, but it’s always been my experience that “victims” by which I mean those who see the world as a place where crappy things happen to them, are constantly having crappy things happen to them.
Second, it may not be your fault, but it IS your responsibility.
Most of the response, in fact, to “What went wrong?” tends to be the shifting of blame.
“Not MY fault!”
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How To Avoid “The Blame Game” & Start Doing Easy Things That Will Drastically Increase Your Success With Women…
Don’t feel alone in the attempt to shift blame, mind you. You are in excellent company.
Shifting blame is SUPER common. It’s something that mothers do, fathers do, children do, organizations do, governments do, populations do.
Blame is a method of expediency, kind of like high fructose corn syrup or credit cards or lies.
It solves an immediate problem. “I feel bad about that blowout, and when I try to consider why it happened I begin to feel even worse! As soon as I shift the blame I begin to feel much better.”
Unfortunately, it also gives away your power to solve this problem. If it’s not your fault then you can’t fix it.
You are not the one who has power for good and evil over your life. It puts you in a passive position with life kicking you.
If this is what blame does, then WHY do we use it? Why do we automatically foist blame onto someone else?
For many of us, possibly most of us, guilt–responsibility–is a horrible feeling.
When you shift blame, you move to a preferable feeling: self-righteous anger; indignance.
“What a jerk my buddy is! He RUINED my night!”
“What a b*tch! She would have liked me if she just shut up and listened for a few minutes!”
You can channel, in fact, all your anger at your self toward this object of your blame. Even an inanimate object.
“I should NOT have worn this cologne!!”
“I can’t believe I believed that guy about that line.”
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Here’s The Clever Solution That Will Get You Laid Faster (& Keep You Motivated)…
Now, please don’t misunderstand me. The solution is NOT to blame yourself.
It’s your responsibility, yes, but finding fault in yourself has exactly the paralyzing effect you try to avoid by finding it elsewhere.
The solution–after you accept that solving this problem is your responsibility–is to focus on feeling better:
“What went right?”
Try motivating yourself, with an image of things the way you would have liked:
“How would I like it to go?”
Finally (and most importantly)… recognize that you CAN do something about it (you have power), so you ask:
“How am I going to change it?”
And here’s the easiest way I know how:
Wanna Know Some Strategies That Are Scientifically PROVEN to Get You Laid… (Often On the First Date)?
The question above, “How am I going to change it?” is REALLY difficult to answer…
… because most men (including myself in the past) have asked themselves what they could do differently on a date… under false pretenses of what actually works.
For example, I used to think taking women to dive bars was a bad idea, because I’d come off as “cheap.”
So I’d make reservations at fancy restaurants in Manhattan… take women to cocktail bars and drop $16 a pop on drinks…
And you know what?
That didn’t make getting laid any easier for me. I was still going home Han Solo at the end of the night.
As I later learned, that’s because things like money and status are important to MEN… and while a woman might dress fancy, and say she appreciates “the finer things in life”…
… the reality is, a $20 martini isn’t going to get her panties soaked, and make her excited to hop into bed with you.
But you know what will?
The strategies backed by hard data, that are PROVEN to get guys laid fast… and these are strategies that work no matter where you take her on the first date, by the way.
For example, it was recently discovered that if you do these 3 things on a first date, your odds of getting laid go WAY up…
And if you do all 3 of these things… then unless it’s her “time of the month,” there’s a good chance you guys are going to hookup… (even if you just go for a walk in the park… or feed the freakin’ ducks):
Published at Thu, 25 Nov 2021 06:00:00 -0800