This is another episode of Ask Ruwando.
I’m Ruwando on behalf of Gotham club.
And today I want to answer a question I get a lot:
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How do I pick up women if I don’t go to clubs and bars?”
And I think a lot of guys have this misconception that the only way to meet women is to “cold approach” in bars and clubs.
And I want to say first of all, there is a time and place for that.
But you don’t NEED it. In fact, getting laid can be very easy without stepping foot inside a club.
(Personally, I haven’t been in a club since 2012.)
I’m going to show you the truth about getting laid without “going out” below:
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Catch The Full Video Transcript Below…
I think if you have little to no experience with women–if you’re afraid of starting conversations–cold approaching in bars or clubs is a good idea.
Why?
Because it just gives you a lot of opportunity.
The thing is, though, for a guy like me for a lot of guys… I mean, we don’t actually like bars and clubs.
And a lot of guys don’t realize there are all sorts of places you can meet women.
The game is a little bit different.
There are some things that are harder, there are some things are easier, but the bottom line is this:
There are actually many ways to meet women outside of what they call “night game.”
I haven’t been in a club since 2012, and I get laid a lot more now than I did back then.
So in this video I will share with you a couple of lifestyle principles, plus two magic phrases that will help you escalate in a non-typical environment, or any place other than where people typically hook up.
I’d like to start with the higher level stuff because I think it’s actually more important.
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The Biggest Misconception Men Today Have About “Easy” Ways to Meet Beautiful Women…
I want to battle this misconception that you have to go out four times a week or something to meet women.
Like, that’s not fun for anybody.
(Unless you really love clubs, in which case, this video is not really for you.)
Because if you think about your “perfect dating future”… you’re probably not doing all this work to meet women, right?
Or would you rather just be living your life and meeting women?
I think for most guys, myself included, we’d choose the latter.
No guy wants to cold approach women until he’s blue in the face.
I mean, I personally don’t like alcohol-heavy environments. And you have to remember there are 3.5 billion women in the world.
Obviously, they’re not all geographically convenient.
But if you’re in a major city, there are many ways to meet women in your regular life.
If you’re not in a major city, if you’re looking at some small town, you might want to move to a place where there’s actually women.
Obviously, there’s not, you know, a magic formula. You have to be around women to sleep with them.
So as long as you’ve got that covered, here’s what to do:
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Step 1? Start Interacting With More People.
First, you have to understand that you just need to be interacting with people.
The one benefit of clubs is that you’ll see a lot of women in a short period of time. But typically, the “close rate” in social environments is not very high anyway.
I mean, if you meet a woman in a park, or while doing a hobby that you actually care about, you’re much more likely to have a real connection.
You might not meet as many women, but you don’t have to meet as many women.
Because you can actually have a real connection, and better yet you can meet women who are into the stuff that you’re into.
The thing is, I mean if you like girls who go to clubs, then great. Go to clubs.
But if you don’t–if you’re into yoga chicks or spiritual women, or girls who are into fitness or art or something–you sohuld go do those activities.
Because that’s how you’re going to meet women that you are actually into.
So when I’m coaching a guy who’s beyond the point where he can actually start conversations, I just tell him:
“design your lifestyle around being social, and I know you will meet the types of women you want to meet.”
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Remember That If You’re Doing This “Just To Meet Women” You’re Disrespecting Yourself…
The other side of it, like the “inner game” side of all of this is if you’re doing things just to meet women, you’re almost disrespecting yourself.
Like, if you hate clubs, and you’re going out to clubs just to meet women… then you’re compromising your own enjoyment for this external thing.
And that’s not good inner game.
I mean, if you’re doing things just for that external validation, it doesn’t show security.
The most secure guys I know are guys who have some purpose beyond women. They’re doing something important.
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It might involve meeting people and it might not, but they’re so secure with that.
So like, if you have some purpose, you’re not going to get attached to whether or not a girl texts you back.
You’re not going to worry about that stuff.
And guys I know like that tend to get laid a lot, even if they meet women in random places.
I’m talking about Whole Foods, parks, cafes and whatever hobbies and meetup events they attend, you know.
So that’s the stuff that once you understand it, then you can invite women into your life, as opposed to compromising yourself to just find where the women happen to be.
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What If Your Hobbies & Interests Don’t Naturally Attract a Lot Of Women? (Plus My 2 “Magic Conversation Starters” That Make Meeting Women WAY Easier)…
The one caveat is if all of your hobbies and interests are “bro heavy,”–if all you like doing is jiu-jitsu and playing board games, you’re probably not going to meet that many women.
So you might want to find something a little more coed.
Now, I want to go into the two magic phrases–AKA the tactical side of meeting women in non-typical social environments.
It’s two phrases, and they’re very simple.
I feel like I should patent them, but really they’re just common language. So whatever.
The first thing is the phrase, “I want [blank].”
Again, it seems super simple, but I’ll tell you in all of my courses for men, I focus on this phrase so much.
You’re getting it for free right now, because this is something where you can save yourself a lot of social navigation by using this phrase heavily.
Back in the day, they used to call this an SOI, or “Statement Of Intent.”
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It’s a really old school pickup technique.
I mean, it’s just saying what you want… but I think it’s the only old school pickup technique that is super important to still talk about.
Because basically what it is, is you’re declaring what you want with the woman outside of a bar or a club.
This is so important, because in a bar or club, if you’re talking to a woman, it’s kind of implied.
So what clubs do for people, with alcohol and the dark lighting and the environment, everyone kind of assumes that they’re there to socialize.
You don’t have to, you know, put that out there.
If you meet a woman in the park, or if you meet a girl in a coffee shop or on the street… you have to be forward.
Because that ambiguity is going to kill your chances.
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The Bizarre Reason Why a Phrase As Simple As “I Want to See You Again” Is So Powerful To Women…
I mean, something as simple as, “I want to see you again” works great.
You have to say that early on, because if you don’t, you’re more likely to be friend zoned or end up in some weird, “no man’s land.”
So instead, you can declare your sexual intent in some form in the beginning. It’ll save you so much time.
And in fact, you can escalate maybe even faster in these, you know, non-party events than you can at parties and in clubs.
Because most of the women in these non-typical environments will be impressed.
They’ll think, “Oh, wow, this guy actually owns up to what he wants.”
There’s no ambiguity.
And you give her the opportunity to say yes or no.
I want to say there’s something magical about declaring what you want in clear terms.
I mean, you’ll be surprised at how fast you can escalate.
Here’s an example from my personal life:
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Here’s How This Got Me a Same-Day Lay on The Beach (And It Can Get You One Too)…
So this one time, I met a girl on the beach.
We went to dinner on a first date because I didn’t know what else to do, and I wanted to try this technique.
Basically, I told her that I was interested in her and I was really turned on by her.
And at the dinner date, before our food even came, she’s like:
“OK, let’s go back to my place.”
It surprised me.
I was like, “Wow. That’s what can happen if you actually just put your desire out there.”
You never know whether or not the woman actually happens to want the same thing.
It drives me nuts when I see guys who try to pretend like they don’t want what they want.
And they spend so much extra time not getting to the desire, whether it’s sex or dating, or whatever it is.
So put yourself out there.
It’s the best chance of rapid escalation and actually getting to the fun part.
You might be wondering… if you’re always talking about what you want, what if she doesn’t want the same thing?
Which is why we have the second magic phrase.
The second magic phrase is also a very simple phrase, and it is:
“How do you feel?”
A lot of people, when they’re on dates or when they’re into a woman, they’re trying to figure out what she likes.
If you ask someone how they feel, they’ll tell you.
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The Bottom Line? You DON’T Have to Be a Mind Reader to Get Laid Outside Of Clubs…
You don’t have to be a mind reader.
Especially when I’m interacting with a woman for the first time, especially if things are sexual for the first time, I put myself out there.
I always ask for feedback.
And I think I’m pretty good at reading people… but I’m not a mind reader.
So these two magic phrases can help you escalate.
And they work in almost any situation–even the places where you might be embarrassed to, you know, put yourself out there.
Saying what you want and asking a woman how she feels is, like, this positive feedback loop where you can gauge whether or not it can go forward.
And it’s not that she’s going to magically fall in love with you from these things.
But you can put yourself out there and actually drive yourself in the direction that you want, assuming that she’s cool with it.
And that’s how you find real connection.
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A Quick Note About Using Dating Apps to Get Laid…
So, this is the second-to-last thing I want to cover–I have to address the dating app thing.
I didn’t want to make a whole thing on it because dating apps are kind of straightforward.
Have good pictures. Send good texts. I mean, maybe that could be another article entirely.
But all of the principles I mentioned about putting yourself out there, being honest, and being vulnerable–all that applies to everything else.
Obviously, dating apps have made it easier to avoid cold approaching.
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But given that we have almost unlimited options, especially in a big city, you might as well be real with what you want–whether it’s hooking up or not.
I mean, it’s better to respect yourself enough not to waste time, in environments you don’t like or with communication you don’t care about.
So take that to heart.
I mean, this stuff is really important to me, because I think way too many guys spend way too much time doing things to meet women they don’t care about.
You don’t actually have to go to parties or clubs or do night game. If you don’t actually want to.
There are plenty of ways to meet women, and get laid outside of party environments.
Especially if you add this to your interactions:
3 Easy Ways to Make My “Magic Conversation Starters” Even MORE Effective (Works Great On Hot Younger Women)...
Now, these “Magic Conversation Starters” are great… and they have worked wonders for me to attract some GORGEOUS women.
But those lines work even better when you combine them with these 3 Shocking Touches <–
At some point, if you wanna hook up with a hot girl… you have to touch her…
So instead of trying something half-assed… kinda awkwardly… and trying to figure out on your own what kind of touching works…
I suggest using these 3 Shocking Touches instead… because they are SUPER low-risk.
They demonstrate to her that you’re interested in a non-creepy, or overly obvious way… (which shows you have a pair of balls, while not being socially awkward).
All while gradually turning her on more and more as the interaction progresses…
… to the point that she HAS to have sex that night… (or possibly sooner… if you meet her during the day).
On another note… this has worked like MAGIC for me when talking to women who are way out of my league.
Seriously… I look like a filthy potato in comparison to some of the women I’ve seduced using these touches.
From my experience touching women the “right” way is the fastest… easiest… and most effective way to get women who are out of your league:
Published at Fri, 10 Dec 2021 06:00:00 -0800