In this article, I’m going to show you how to keep a conversation flowing, even when your mind goes blank.
Because as a dating coach, it’s a question I get a lot:
“What do I say when nothing comes to mind?”
I know that it happens.
The interaction is going somewhat smoothly, but you’re sensitive to keep things going in the direction you want by saying things that you want and not things that you don’t want.
There’s a big difference between “Why would you ignore me?” and, “Why wouldn’t you listen to me?” for example.
So there you are, carefully considering every word coming out of your mouth; reviewing and restating your intention so you move toward it.
RESEARCH REVEALS: This “Potion” Gets Girls to Chase You (Click For The Recipe)…
Suddenly–and although it doesn’t happen suddenly, it tends to feel sudden–you realize you’re not saying anything.
Neither is she–and the silence is deafening.
She’s looking around the room and beginning, quite frankly, to look bored.
Meanwhile you’re looking–let’s be honest–at her mouth, because while you’ve been considering your intentions, you also keep wondering if she has any skill with those lips.
The few times you looked away from her lips, it’s because the exposed skin and clean line of her cleavage drew your eyes down… and as you looked up and tried to hide your smile, you wondered if it damaged your credibility.
Now, though, as you think about that, you don’t know what to say.
“David! How do I unfreeze? What can I say?!”
What To Say When You Have Nothing to Say…
The tool I’m going to show you is called the “3-Step Sentence Generator.”
That is your number one “go-to” when you draw a blank.
Nothing about it is accidental, and it is SUPER powerful.
Whenever you don’t know what to say (and awkward silence specifically falls into that category), you pull this trusty weapon out of the belt:
Introducing My 3-Step Sentence Generator: A Tried & True Classic That Can Pull You Out of Any Awkward Silence…
Here’s how it works:
1) Start with a positive emotion.
And don’t list them in your head or plan out the sentence or conversation, just say it!
E.g. “I adore…”
2) Follow with something you can see, hear, smell, touch or taste.
(This is the correct order of the senses, by the way. Can you figure out why?)
E.g. “… that lamp…”
3) Finish up with the reason you said it.
Again, don’t think too long about it, just say the first thing that comes to mind.
E.g. “… it has a film noir vibe.”
Spontaneity is part of the strength–and attractiveness–in the 3-Step Sentence Generator.
So the immediacy of your statement will make your words genuine.
In addition, by not thinking, you actually WILL be genuine, and give good reasons.
Those reasons will add to available conversation because they will–by the definition of your FIRST words, the positive emotion–be things you like.
So the 3-Step Sentence Generator is always there at the ready, but I have another easy gimmee when the awkward silences come:
Another Awkward Silence Killer? The “Voice-Over Descriptive Video Services” Trick (AKA The VO-DVS)…
This can be combined with the 3SSG, and you can also use it on its own.
Simply describe what’s going on.
This sounds TOO easy, I know.
“You’re looking at me.”
“You enjoyed the dessert.”
“You’ve put your hair down.”
“The ‘servbot’ has left with our order; you’re nibbling on the edamame while you look at me in silence.”
Notice that I’m using HER language (“servbot” instead of waitress) and that I am attempting to make no judgements on the events I am describing.
Other than tailoring the language to her, this is very similar to Voice-Over on your iPhone or Descriptive Video Services when you’re watching TV.
You are simply stating current events–what happened, what’s happening.
I’m also NOT recommending a continued stream of this at all.
This recommendation is only for when you suddenly find yourself blank and the silence feels awkward.
Some Statements Are More Helpful Than Others Though (Here’s Why)…
The truth is that this IS the second step of the 3-Step Sentence Generator, and in fact the purpose of the first step is merely to avoid noticing and/or talking about things you don’t like.
Statements like, “You’re annoyed,” “You look bored,” and “You haven’t eaten any clams,” are not helpful.
Voice-over works on one of the principles behind the trusty 3-Step Sentence Generator. And it can often be easier to use, since it doesn’t require taking a position.
“I love that wallpaper–it gives the place such a classy vibe!” can sometimes feel difficult to come up with (or even to say).
When you’re nervous, it can be difficult to think of something you like. All you can come up with is things that make you nervous.
Saying, “I love…” will make you think about her mouth or the curve of her back as it leads downward.
You might blush as you try to find something else.
It probably won’t hurt your evening to be honest, but Voice-Over can be easier to go for in this scenario.
“You have a little sauce on your lip. It’s making it shiny.”
My “Pacing Principle” That Allows You to Always Have Smooth Conversations & Escalate With Women Much Faster…
What Voice-Over and the 3-Step Sentence Generator have in common is that they use the magic of something called pacing.
Pacing is the part of rapport when you connect with someone else.
You’ll discover that pacing is a hypnotic technique, since telling someone what they are experiencing tends to connect to them on the inside.
When you narrate the current experience–that you are both part of–she has to connect with you inside.
She cannot avoid feeling a “yes” or internally nodding and your words slip under the conscious surface because they are true.
Watch the effect it has:
“You’re looking at the screen. You’re reading my words. You’re wondering just how true they are.”
Notice how it feels inside to read these things that you know are true.
Notice also that the last phrase is not exactly true, yet it’s difficult to resist.
Why difficult to resist? It’s not easy to answer “Yes. Yes. No.”
If you’ve ever heard of the “Yes Ladder,” you understand that every time you say yes, it becomes easier to say yes again.
The same is true of all people (including women).
Which is why if you’re interested in a woman, and you’d like to escalate even further on a date…
I highly recommend you try this:
The Fastest Way to “Seal the Deal” When You Can’t Think of Anything to Say…
I’ve given you a few different tools you can use to “fill” an awkward silence…
However… If you sense that she’s somewhat into you… and there’s an awkward silence…
…by far the best thing you can do to hook up with her that same night has nothing to do with your voice:
^^^Best “fast hookup” technique I know.
I don’t know how many times I’ve heard a girl say to one of her girlfriends, “I really liked him… but he just wouldn’t make a move.“
Of course… I also understand that making the first move can be intimidating… and making the wrong move can get you rejected pretty quickly.
Each one is a VERY safe way to show interest in a woman, and gives her the opportunity to get physical with you…
(… so she might hold your hand… initiate the first kiss… and in some cases she might even reach for your *ahem* “belt area” if you’re on the same side of a booth…)
And when you use them together, in the right order… they make sleeping with her that same night a HELL of a lot more likely:
Published at Thu, 09 Dec 2021 06:00:00 -0800